The hedgehog’s dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is an analogy about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share their heat during cold weather. However, once accomplished, they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills. They must step away from one another. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur for reasons which they cannot avoid.
Both Arthur Schopenhauer and Sigmund Freud have used this situation to describe what they feel is the state an individual will find themselves in relation to others. The hedgehog’s dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. With the hedgehog’s dilemma one is recommended to use moderation in affairs with others both because of self-interest, as well as out of consideration for others. The hedgehog’s dilemma is used to justify or explain introversion and isolationism.
(Source: jojo-bean)
I want you to stop making this a huge, dramatic, sparks-flying scene on display for everyone to see. I want you to be okay so we can be best friends again. I want people to know the truth so that they don’t think I’m a horrible person for stabbing you in the back. I want you to stop posting on Facebook about the aftermath of all this - people comment and tell you I’m an idiot, I’m a bitch and I don’t know what I’m missing and if I don’t see who you really are then I never deserved you. No one knows what it was really like; I knew exactly what I was missing every day that you were gone. I knew exactly who you really are - I just had to see it through a computer screen at all hours of the night. I don’t believe I deserve to be called a bitch simply for not being strong enough, and I don’t think that you really need to be giving that impression to people, which you are.
I’m tired of fighting, too. I’m trying to sit still and be patient while you go through this thing you have to go through; I’m trying not to spark your anger or spite you. I was tired of putting my entire life on hold for you before, but I’m still doing it a little bit so that you can try and heal. Please stop writing about how horrible I am where everyone we know can see. I know that you hold grudges, but you don’t need to do that. And I know you need to write things down and get it all out, so you can do it on here. Tumblr is by far a better environment for that kind of self-expression than Facebook is; Tumblr is where people support you because of who you are, not because of the gossip.
I made a point of not deleting the entire blog and everything that’s on here - I didn’t want to do that, either. I just don’t see why we need to post anymore; for all intents and purposes, the thing it was about is over. We each have our own accounts, so we don’t need this mutual one anymore. We still talk to each other on every other platform; this one isn’t necessary. It’s time to move on.
J.
I’m not going to keep posting on here anymore. The relationship ended, and so should the blog.
J.
It was a good thing while it lasted, it really was. But it didn’t last, and now it’s time to go.
We’re really different people; these last few weeks and your last few posts taught me that. You’re an awesome person and I will keep you as my friend forever, but these circumstances just didn’t work out. I’m sorry.
Thank you all for following.
-J.
Di, i (clayton) wrote that post because she (jocelyn) is with someone else. i think she should break up with him for her own sake tat the very least, that is why i wrote that. thanks for the support though man, means a lot.
-C
You can’t center everything around me. I can’t be the only person in your life. You need other people, too - and there’s a difference between saying you have them and making sure that you do.
If you move back here, it can’t be because of me. It has to be because you want to, because you have something to make of yourself here. But it can’t be because of me. Yes, our paths will cross, and that’ll lead to whatever it leads to, but it can’t be the only reason. Not if we’re to have anything healthy.
J.